YOU MIGHT BE A MUSLIM IF ...
1. You grow poppies and refine Heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to Liquor. You might be a Muslim
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You might be a Muslim
3. Your cousin is president of the United States, You might be a Muslim
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon and pork unclean. You might be a Muslim
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You might be a Muslim
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. You might be a Muslim
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You might be a Muslim
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You might be a Muslim
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You might be a Muslim
10. You have more wives than teeth. You might be a Muslim
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